What do you want?

For my whole life (and the whole lives of most women out there), we've heard jest of women's inability to just commit already. I don't mean commit to relationships, because most women find that rather natural -- I mean commit to a decision or course. "What do women want?" There's even an entire Mel Gibson rom-com that addresses the question! To an extent, I can see how this could be a fair question. Indecisiveness can be infuriating, I understand.

But on behalf of women everywhere, I've got to ask, What do MEN want?

We've been told by the sensitive psychologists of the modern generation that subconsciously, a man needs to be needed. He doesn't want to feel disposable or unwanted. Yet our histories and our stories want to depict men as these hunters who will fight for something if they feel the risk is worth the prize. Our mothers and grandmothers taught us not to be easy -- that we were worth all the playing-hard-to-get and ambiguity that comes from not knowing. So this annoying game of cat-and-mouse has ensued where we try to be mysterious and guarded and somehow expect men to chase.

The thing is: Men in my generation don't chase. They expect an equal if not more persistent woman to ask THEM out or show the first sign of vulnerability. I always swore that I wouldn't be that girl because it "isn't supposed to work that way." Men are "supposed" to chase us. One of my friends in high school used to get so frustrated with me: "Why don't you just tell him you like him? I'm not saying you have to ask him out -- just let him know that if he did, you would say yes. That's fair, isn't it?" And I suppose that it is. I guess at the end of the day, neither sex wants to put themselves out there -- it's scary. So if they do, not only have they proven that they're very interested, but they've shown that you're worth all the courage it took to ask you out.

So should I be mysterious, obvious, blunt, passive, relate-able, delicate, what? What do you WANT?

Fat Tuesday

I'm tired of hearing people complain about "my generation" and what technology has "done" to us. You'd think we were little millennial Frankensteins -- out of touch, spoiled and absorbed in this hazy fog that keeps us from coming up for air. I get it. Really, I do. I've been there on some level or another. For me, it has been getting addicted to a TV show (The Office, Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, etc.) and realizing after 4 days of watching back-to-back episodes that I seriously wasted 4 days of real, God-given, unabridged life staring at a little screen with bloodshot eyes. Or it might be something like using social networking as an escape from responsibilities, which is pretty consistent with most students, I'd say. In fact, as I type this entry, I'm avoiding my first Human Resources Management test that I should be studying for. Pick your poison, it's there.

They say it's destroyed our ability to interact socially or network professionally. As someone who thrives on face-to-face interaction, I take offense. You won't find me texting someone all day long -- in fact, after 3 or 4 correspondences, I usually give up on conversation. If I can't safely operate my stick-shift vehicle and engage in our conversation, I'll get bored and give up. I don't mind phone conversations. They used to really bother me, mostly when people call but have nothing to say. Except Bailey. Sometimes we'd spend 4 straight days together and then call each other while we were unpacking. We wouldn't even be talking -- just listening and somehow appreciating the mutual silence. What I'm trying to tell you, albeit poorly is: I don't feel destroyed.

I have, though, seen the effects of this rumored digression. I've seen the kid who obviously doesn't remember how to speak English and I've been on the occasional date that you show up for and the witty conversationalist is all of a sudden dull or mute. I'm not denying it happens. What I'm asking you to keep in mind is: It wasn't my generation that created the world that I live in. If you're even 10 years older than me, it was your's. I'm merely using the tools with which I was equipped. 

I'm constantly learning new things. My mind is always roaming, I'm always daydreaming or engrossed in my own internal struggles and thoughts. I appreciate the clutter that my brain is able to sort through when it's not overloaded with media. So here it is, the big one: My Fat Tuesday just ended and my Lent has begun. As a practicing Protestant, I am giving up social media for the duration. What will I do instead, you ask? Maybe I'll pray, learn to knit, start morning yoga, read another book, I'm not sure. But it's nice, not knowing.

That grogginess, that foggy haze, it lures you in. But you know, the possibilities that are open to you when you shut your laptop are endless. Your small misadventures are awaiting you!

Victor