76 Big Ones

For some time now my best friend Danielle has been posting numbers on my profile. "200," "164," "117." Perhaps you noticed these random number posts or perhaps you didn't. I'm sure, though, that you're at least a little curious now that I've told you about it, right? For over half a year, we have been counting down the days to our awesome adventure! Our most recent number? 76! Can you believe it!? 76 days away from a semester of bliss! To countdown with us, click on the button below!



For those of you who don't already know, I'm kind of weird. That is, I sometimes have what the world would call "weird taste." But hey, the world needs color, right? I listen to Celtic music; more specifically Celtic Thunder. There it is. I said it. I'm not even ashamed. The exciting part is that Aubrey and I are going to see Celtic Thunder this weekend at some casino! I couldn't be more thrilled, mostly because I get to see Keith Harkin, who is my Celtic Thunder crush. What? You didn't expect them to be ugly, did you? Actually, I'm just hoping that Mr. Harkin proposes . . . Too far?

Not bad, right? You thought he'd be ugly, huh? Nope. Helloooo, Keithy :)

Annnd, one more for the road, people. In honor of Halloween:

What Are Men Compared to Rocks and Mountains?

We've passed the halfway point, people! We are now less than eight weeks from the end of the semester -- which is quite shocking, actually. For those of you who didn't already know, this is "la mia stagione preferita," or my favorite season, for a lot of reasons. 

We'll start with the most obvious: Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back, y'all. Unfortunately, when I take the time to consider the calorie intake, I only end up drinking 1-2 all season, but still, it's cause for celebration. Maybe you don't like pumpkin spice lattes? Well, to that I'd say 1) you're crazy; 2) insert your favorite herbal tea or coffee flavor here. Every hot drink is more appreciated. The very act of using a mug seems a little more validated. You understand.

Obviously, autumn sees a significant temperature change. This is the main reason that fall is my favorite season. My friend Justin and I resolved last year that moving to Washington state is a must for people like us; that is, people who sweat when they're swimming. I love feeling crisp, harsh wind on my face and while other people are wearing peacoats, I'm wearing a cardigan, and sometimes, even short-sleeves.

Candles. There's nothing like the smell of pumpkin pie and cinnamon spice filling up every corner of your house to make you feel festive 24/7.

Oddly enough, death. There's something peculiarly natural about the entire world shedding its skin and dying so that the spring is extra-inviting. And although it's only pretty while the leaves are changing, I'm not appalled when the grass turns that nasty shade of pale yellow.

I'm sure you have your own reasons for loving autumn, or maybe you don't. Nevertheless, treasure it! Because it usually ends up feeling/being the shortest of them all. 

     This past weekend, I ended up being a "sponsor" on the Fall Retreat at the last minute. I put sponsor in quotations because if you know me at all, you know that sometimes I have to be scolded for being as obnoxious as the junior-highers that I'm supposed to be overseeing. It ended up feeling short -- which is sad because it was the most fun I've had in awhile. A lot of the kids weren't able to attend for one reason or another (it being fall break that weekend) but we seemed to make the best of it. 

     I learned to play Mafia, which is a really fun and addicting card game that has absolutely nothing to do with cards. I'm being really clear, aren't I? We had fart-making contests -- with our mouths, of course. I won, naturally. If you ask me to demonstrate the next time I see you, I just might grace you with my award-winning fart. We went hiking, of course, since we were at QMCC. Usually we just hike Young's Mountain since it's on campus and the trails are really obvious. This time J took us to some of the surrounding hills and we got to spread out and go where we wanted. I was with Shawna, who if you didn't already know, is a beast. She's that girl that goes to "Boot Camp" at 5a.m. during the week and has mythological calves. True story. This hill feels like a 90 degree angle and homegirl's sprinting up the mountain. Seriously? I don't kid myself, I went into this adventure knowing that I'm out of shape but apparently I'm REALLY out of shape. We had Brandon and Zach with us (two 12-year-olds) and they're poor legs weren't long enough for our strides. Here's one I took of them -- look how tiny they are compared to the rock!

You wouldn't believe the sea of cacti that we happened upon. One of the quills went through my shoe and sock and I had to stop, remove my shoe, and extract it before we could move on. Needless to say, seeing the top was rewarding. From the picture it looks like nothing, but we were so high and the view was lovely. 

And most importantly, I learned a lot. Mostly about myself and what I need to fix and change about me. Usually I'm so busy staring at a chalkboard and pouring over textbooks that I really don't have much time for reflection and self-evaluation, which some would argue is the superior education. Something I took away this weekend -- what sometimes seems like an overused verse but seemed to be what I needed to hear:

"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. 

You know when I sit and when I rise; 

you perceive my thoughts from afar.  

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.  

Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.  

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

 Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;  

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, 

if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me, 

your right hand will hold me fast."

Psalm 139

Who me? I'm Italian.

Here's the good news: I will be STUDYING ABROAD IN AREZZO, ITALY in the spring! Go ahead: scream and dance to yourself -- I know you're as thrilled as I am. And I won't be too upset and if you walk up to me with an Amanda Knox joke or even a Taken joke, although that movie's been out a while and I'm not even going to Paris. Of course, now that the endless amount of paperwork, deadlines, and planning has started, it seems as if I added another class to my schedule. Last Friday, I received an email saying, "Congrats on Italy. Due a week from today is your deposit, airfare, and visa application." Well, hello stress, I'm Courtney. But it's hard to even get frustrated for more than 2 seconds because the reward will be overwhelmingly perfect. 

As for the rest of life? You know that feeling where you're excited for something in the future so you're not even paying attention to life going on around you? Welcome to my life. It's a crazy, endless thing. Aside from that major update, I really don't have anything else to write home about, so I'll leave you with 3 pictures from my family's fall photo shoot. We're adorable, I know. I will say, though, that will all the color, it looks like we could be a poster in a preschool classroom. :) 

And one just for fun . . . 

Thank you Ketron Photography, Courtesy of Taylor Ketron!

Someone Like You

You know what's exhausting? Disappointing people without being able to do a single thing about it. The same person has been pursuing me for three years. I tried being gentle, I tried being subtle, I tried being absent. Still, they're persistent in a way that's hard to avoid. It's not that I find this person undateable or not-for-me. You have to know that we are so similar and he makes me laugh harder than anyone in the world. It's rare that someone is able to be that for me -- usually I'm the one that brings this quality to the table. But I can't date him. And there are several reasons for this. I realize that these are the topics you leave for your journal, not your blog; but I'm convinced that my audience is rather small so I'm not particularly worried. :)


Reason 1: I don't want to feel even slightly inhibited while I'm playing in Europe. I don't plan to meet anyone, nor will I be looking; but I'd be going with 20 other Sooners. Four months is a long time to be away from someone and still feel obligated to check in or, supposing I do meet someone, feel like I can't/shouldn't pursue that. You may be wondering why I didn't date him sooner, given that we've been talking for three years. The answer to that is multi-faceted. He's younger than me, we live in completely different worlds, and we value different things in the people we want to date. I feel like both of us have some growing up to do in different parts of our lives and I really don't want to be someone else's guinea pig.


Reason 2: How do you tell someone that the way they feel about you, you have spent all that time feeling about someone else? I've tried to think of a million ways to say that and there's no easy or gentle way to do it. Although I feel like I've done a decent job of avoiding leading him on, it's inevitable that he feel that he was lead on. To him, he probably feels like he's wasted three years of his life waiting on me to come around when he could've been dating other people. When it comes down to it, I know exactly how he feels; but it's always been someone else for me.  It's heartbreaking and it's infuriating. But that's what it is.