Monday, January 13, 2014

the story of a girl's journey to Wellness

I've never been one for exercise routines. It's not that I'm sweat-averse or a total baby about physical exertion -- I just don't think it's fun, and I'm a doer of fun things. I also don't get the epic adrenaline rush some claim to have when exercising (Is that really a thing?). Annnnd there's also the issue of me liking food . . . A LOT. People who are thin or fit think big eaters lack self control, which may be, but is not always, the case. It's assumed that people who claim they like food and don't like exercise are just lazy and gorge themselves on fast food and junk food while they sit on the couch watching Idol. And who even watches Idol anymore anyway?

Let me set the record straight. I like food. No, I love food. I consider the creation and consumption of food to be a hobby of sorts. Like all hobbies, overindulgence effects our relationships, time management and bodies. I don't sit around eating junk food. In fact, it's a seldom occurrence that I even purchase junk food. Just in case my roommates ever read this and try to contradict me, I will say that I do purchase it, but I do not buy snacks when grocery shopping. Sometimes, on my way home from school, I'll think, "Man, I'd really like some _____." I then go to the store and purchase just that item. It's a bad choice altogether to think you can have a cupboard full of Oreos and Fritos and trust yourself's self-control. If you know someone that claims to be able to accurately follow the portion size count on the box, I'd like to meet them and shake their hand. Because of this, I simply don't keep it in my house.

So when I say I love food that's not junk food, what am I talking about? I love carbs. Not cheap, greasy, fast-food carbs; but, expensive breads-and-cheeses carbs. Give me a hunk of Pecorino Romano and I'm yours. Hand me a loaf of yummy, pretty bread as a housewarming gift and I'll invite you over for parties for all eternity. My mother tells me that in the highchair, I would reach up my open palm and like a little Oliver Twist, imply, "Please, [Ma], may I have somemore?" She had to start telling me no for the sake of my digestive health. I just love good carbs. I'm also a sucker for good pizza. Not cheap, take-out pizza (although, that's good, too, sometimes); but good, exotic pizza. Since my Italian adventures, I have a deep appreciation for pizza when it's treated kindly. You don't need a tub of lard to melt on the top, people. I can close my eyes right now and picture the perfect pizza: Thin, slightly-burned, crackerlike crust, lightly sauced, small chunks of melted mozzarella; portabello mushrooms; fresh and clean arugula; sometimes, seafood pizza; OR pesto instead of tomato sauce; OR tartufo. Is your mouth watering yet? You people will never understand what fresh ingredients are. And if you ever are blessed with the experience of going anywhere outside of the United States, you will be stunned the first time you bite into an apple or slice a tomato. America serves you complete crap, I tell you. C.r.a.p. They spray it with glorified bug spray to deter the worms and then shine it real good with God only knows what kind of apple lotion and VOILA, here is your American, shiny, poisonous, poor-tasting fruit. Enjoy!

My point is, I overindulge on things that in my mind, are "better" for me. Less preservatives and transfats do NOT equal less calories or fat consumption. So when I'm overindulging, I'm overindulging, plain and simple. That being said, I've started a wellness kick, which I hope will soon be a lifestyle change. I don't believe in New Years Resolutions because I'm pretty good at recognizing when I need to make a change and doing it, no matter what day of the year it is. So this is a January 12th Resolution, I guess? I started P90X yesterday and it was the most discouraging thing I've ever done. It was only upon reflection that I realized it's not meant for someone who's rarely active, to say the least. It's too high-intensity for someone who's starting over, as the HUGE pinched nerve that's currently under a heating pack on my back will tell you. I'm not going to stop doing it, but I'm probably not going to do it daily. Instead, it's going to act as a supplement to my running routine.

I think wellness is physical, emotional and a state of mind. I am a firm believer that everyone should be reading constantly. It's food for the mind and there's always something to learn from reading. I've always been a reader but my schedule and life have made reading impossible; or at least, the last thing I want to do when I get home late from work or school. Anymore, I only binge-read. After a semester of not reading anything besides textbooks, I read 3 books over the break: An autobiography and 2 novels. I'm not even really proud of that -- it's just sad. SO I'm going to get back on the horse (figuratively) and read regularly -- although, who can say what 'regularly' even is? Current read: This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. I'll let you know how it goes.

Physically? Diet, exercise, blah.

Emotionally? Not sure yet . . . I'm really stressed about all the grown-up decisions I'm going to be faced with at semester's end. I wish I had my grandpa to talk me through it like only he could. I don't know where or who to look to for emotional health anymore. What do you do? Where do you go? I'm open to suggestions!

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