Sincerely, Confused

Have you ever just realized that your expectations were too high for someone? Allow me to digress.

I consider myself to be a pretty safe person; meaning, I don't put myself in compromising or potentially hazardous relationships. When I've ever felt like I had a flaky/inconsistent friend, I just stopped hanging out with them or making them a priority. I wouldn't say that it was spiteful or mean -- just saving myself the trouble of getting hurt. That's human nature, right? So let me set this one up for you. I've known this person a long time. I've had feelings for them a long time. But somewhere along the way, I found out that their importance to me wasn't reciprocated. Although that can sting a little on impact, it's not so bad.

So I learn to live without them. I've been doing that with everyone else and usually, I'm good at it. Only this time, it's different. This time, sometimes I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. What do you do when not having someone in your life, even if they're potentially hazardous, is actually more hazardous? I've done a good job of forgetting but every time I come close to moving on or even feeling that way about someone else, you show up out of nowhere and it starts all over.

Believe me, I've thought this one out from every angle. Is it the ole' I-want-what-I-can't-have routine? It's possible. Is it that I'm remembering someone that no longer exists? It's possible. One thing's for sure: I'm raising the white flag. I'm done worrying about it, thinking about it, wondering about it. This chapter is officially closed. So please, please, leave me alone and let me close it.