Here Comes the Bride

Today I went to a wedding for a friend I've known since I was 6 years old. You know how people sometimes say, "That makes me feel old."? This made me feel old. Sometimes I think to myself, "This is normal. It's about the marrying time for your friends." . . . I'm 20 years old. I thought we were all modern and sticking-it-to-the-man -- waiting till we were successful and stable before marrying. No? I guess that's the part that makes me feel like the old maid: knowing that marriage and family are very far along in my timeline. The wedding was lovely, though, and I was happy to be here to celebrate this time with them.

Of course, now that a wedding is being planned for my sister, we're starting to be more attentive at weddings we attend. I was never so naive that I thought wedding planning was easy or simple. I always knew that they were expensive -- heck, we have THREE girls in my family. But the enormity of the project is starting to feel unnerving. We're looking for venues that are less popular; not undiscovered or anything, just not something we've seen ten other people do. Unfortunately, this really starts to limit things, especially since she wants an outdoor wedding. I've never been the girl to plan her wedding since junior high with colors and flowers and everything; but I am noticing that I have an opinion about every little thing that Cara picks out. I found myself giving advice on bridesmaids dresses and reception catering and music. Please pray that I, the maid of honor, don't become the bridezilla for my sister's wedding.

What's worse is, Lord willing, I'll be studying abroad this coming spring in Arezzo, Italy. If that follows through, I won't be here to throw showers and panty-parties and be the supportive shoulder when the chosen baker is booked or the venue is ruled out. It's hard to be the ideal bridesmaid when you're an ocean away. I seriously contemplated just studying abroad during a summer or trying to put it off for another time but I'm an International Business Major. Since I'm required to have an international experience, I want to make the most of it and be able to spend an extensive amount of time over there. How do you try not to be selfish when it's your resume and your dreams versus your sister's forever with someone else? My pony dream is to work in Italy at the American embassy. I don't care if I'm typing and filing, it's what I want to do for a little while. So if I don't study abroad in the spring, I'm really just putting off the inevitable.

Basically, the thought of helping Cara makes me want to put in Father of the Bride and hide under the blankets. And it's not even MY wedding. I'm becoming more and more convinced that eloping is golden.