Single Digits & Resolutions

Ohhhh boy. Let the stressing begin! We're almost in single digits, people, and it's gettin' real! 11 days until take off. In case my last post left you hopeful that I'd come to my senses and start preparing, go ahead and worry -- I am no closer to being prepared to take off than before. Am I starting to get that nervous, panicky feeling because of my unpreparedness? Only slightly. The real panic will begin the morning I'm getting in the car to leave and realize I forgot a toothbrush (happens every time). For now, I'm just peachy and carefree and blissfully naive!

Along with the New Years celebrations came a host of resolutions that I've been collecting on the shelves of my mind behind more pressing matters. BUT, they've been dusted off and are freshly awaiting my implementation. I suppose it's left you curious? Well, playing coy apparently doesn't suit me so here goes:

1) You could package this a million different ways but I suppose it's to be a gentler person. I usually accuse myself of being slightly (or sometimes heavily) irrational, not giving the grace necessary in functioning relationships and selfishly being wounded every time someone does me wrong. The reality being, I let people down, too, and as I expect grace, I suppose I should be better at giving it.

2) Stop caring about everyone's life. Before you freak out, I don't mean it in the way it sounds. I'm one to make light of life -- meaning, I'm easy to talk to about problems and uncomfortable subjects because I can make almost anything funny. I'm also modest. (Ha). So when people come to me sharing their lives, I do my best to be supportive. Consequently, I have a vast bank of secrets and stories that sometimes feel like the weight of the world. I feel like there are few trustworthy people and the temptation to gossip is one of my most alluring sins. Therefore, I've resolved to stop welcoming everyone's baggage to keep me from having dirt on everyone. While this kind of spider-webbed, plainly, I plan to gossip less and it'd help if I'd have less to gossip about. Moving on...

3) Find fun when I don't have time. I know I've said in this blog before that I don't like college. But if history has proven correctly, most of everyone doesn't like their jobs after college, either. That's a lot of hatred I have to look forward to. The problem is that I really don't stop and have fun. I'm working or schooling. What a waste, right? So, while I still have youth and innocence going for me, I need to take advantage of it!!

4) I was reading my bible the other day at church and read this:
"Who will give me wings,' I ask, 'Wings like a dove?' Get me out of here on dove wings; I want some peace and quiet. I want a walk in the country, I want a cabin in the woods. I'm desparate for a change from rage and stormy weather . . . I call to God; God will help me. At dusk, dawn and noon I sigh deep signs -- he hears, he rescues. My life is well and whole, secure in the middle of danger." If there was ever a time when I needed to be refreshed, it's now. I'm confused of my future -- where to go, who to love, what I'll do in 2 years when I hopefully graduate. For completely selfish reasons, I'm looking forward to escaping everything and just figuring me out; because I still haven't seemed to be able to do that yet.

5) Teach someone something. One of the greatest God-given gifts has got to be the ability to teach others based on your own experience. If my past can help someone else avoid my mistakes, I'm happy to do it. Plus, I think service is meant to help the server as well. I think it feeds the soul and brings peace to your mind. What could be more worth it?

6) Chase opportunities! I'm the most indirect and nervous person when it comes to confrontation. This may come as a surprise to you but I'm actually super awkward about calling people for jobs and chasing new experiences. Heck, all those times that I need to call a store to find if they have something I need? Chloe does it . . . I know, I know, I'm turning a light shade of pink just typing this out. Embarassing, I know.

While there are a million things I'd love to improve about myself, I also have a specifically 2012 Bucketlist:

1) Fly a kite. Maybe a red one.

2) Shoot a gun. I'll need serious supervision on this one.

3) Try three new restaurants of different ethnical origins.

4) Plan something extravagant for next New Years. I've only seen the ball drop once ever.

5) Go fishing. I think I've only gone twice. Ever.

6) Make 10 new friends.